The married guy's night out

The last week or so has been an exercise on catching up with people. I started off by meeting up with Randi over the weekend, then on Monday, I had lunch with Mike, Tuesday, I had dinner with Eric and Michael, after which I met up with Nik and Barbara for drinks, and last night, I met up with Damen, Christine, Al and Kevin for lobster tacos at World Famous. Overall, I would say that everyone is doing well. Mike is working down in Pacific Beach, but looking around for another job, so I'm doing my best to network for him. Michael is doing much better these days after having undergone back surgery and Eric is fending psychotic girls off with a stick. Nik and Barbara are both doing well, and are thoroughly involved in home improvement at the moment.

After eating our tacos last night, Damen, Kevin, Al and I walked down the street to Nick's. I guess being married really makes you want to stay out when your wife gives you the night off, because Damen was a man on a mission, insisting that we stay out until his 12:00 curfew. We stayed at Nick's for an hour or so, playing some pool and killing a few more beers. I ran into Heather Golden there (she was waitressing), and we talked for a bit. The scene in the bar must not have been dead enough because we decided to take it down another level and head across the street to the Open Bar. Being 4 of the dozen or so people in the place, it took no time to get drinks and get established. We started playing a little foosball when a couple guys came up and wanted to get in on the next game. Damen and I stepped aside while Kevin and Al took the new guys on; or, I should say, were taken to school by the newcomers. Visions of the foosball scene in Dazed and Confused ran through my head as these guys passed the ball all over the table, scoring at will. It didn't take long before Kevin and Al were back at our table licking their wounds. By 11:30, Al and Kevin had had enough for the night and headed home while Damen and I headed back to World Famous to sober up for the drive home. As though I was attending the Royal Ball, at the stroke of midnight Damen disappeared into the night and I was left holding nothing but an empty glass sipper (sic).

Aspirin by day, Bacardi by night

In the time that's passed since my last update, I have been able to sample the forbidden pleasures at Phil's BBQ. It was definitely worth the wait. Dana and I went there last Thursday for dinner and it's likely that I will be back again soon.

Friday night, Kevin and I grabbed some sushi at Surfside in Pacific Beach and then headed over to PB Bar and Grill (or, as it's more affectionately known, STD Bar and Grill). There, we met up with my friend Randi, her boyfriend and another friend of theirs. It was the usual scene at the bar, as though someone had transplanted the backyard of a frat party into the building. Randi and her group petered out kind of early, but I was committed to staying out for the duration of the night. Kevin stuck around for a bit after their party left and then Al came in to relieve Kevin. By the time Al and I left the bar, the place was pretty dead. We walked over to a pizza by the slice place on the way back to the car and happened to run into a couple more of Al's friends. We chatted with them for a short while and then called it a night.

Saturday, I spent the majority of the day trying to recover from the previous night. In the morning, Kevin and I went down to IKEA to seek out a few home furnishings. I was looking for a new dresser (I guess I'm still in the disposable furniture stage), something to hang on the walls, and we were also looking for a couple plants for the house. Unfortunately, the billion square-foot Swedish warehouse was of little help and we came home empty handed. By the afternoon, I was finally ready to leave the house, so Al and I headed out to do a little shopping at UTC. I left with nothing, but Al found a few shirts, so the trip wasn't a total loss.

Saturday night, I was supposed to go downtown with Al and some of his friends, but the friends bailed at the last minute. Not ones to write-off the night, the two of us decided to head up to Epizote's in Del Mar. The crowd at this bar typically arrives straight from the horse races and is known to be a little on the snobbier side. On Saturday night, the patrons didn't really fit that description, but the place was pretty calm just the same. We were able to secure a table when we got there and pretty much didn't leave it for the rest of the night. Jen, a girl that Al had picked up a while back that lived in the area met up with us about half way through the night. For the rest of our stay at the bar, I kind of faded in and out of 3rd wheeldom (although, Al did do his best to steer the conversation back my way every once in a while). The bar closed on the early side of 12:30, so we bid adieu to Jen and walked over to an adjacent bar to sober up for the drive home. Not an amazing scene in that place either, so we only stayed as long as required.

Sunday, I slept in for most of the morning and then waited around for my parents to show up. They came down, along with my grandmother, so that we could all go to the Padres game that afternoon. We had amazing seats for the game; I'd estimate that we were about 25 feet away from first base—close enough to see individual blades of grass! The only downside was that it was pretty warm and we were in direct sunlight for the entire game. The Padres failed to generate sufficient runs and ended up losing 8-4. The nice thing about the fact that the team sucks is that no one goes out to the games, so it was really easy to get out of the parking lot when the game was over. After the game, we grabbed some sushi for dinner and then they all took off for home. I came home, took a shower and crashed out for the night.

Phil's BBQ: My Holy Grail

All in all, this past weekend was pretty productive. Friday night, I gave Kevin a call on my way home from work to see if he wanted to meet up for dinner. He was free, so the two of us and Julia went to a little Italian place for dinner. After dinner, we made it a Blockbuster night and picked up Roger Dodger. Overall, it was a pretty good flick with a lot of keen observations on the world of dating. Saturday, I spent the majority of the day cleaning up my office, save for a couple hours when I met up with the other members of the bowling team to play a makeup game.

Saturday night, my friend Alisa was in town. She gave me a call in the late afternoon and mentioned that she was heading downtown with a few friends. I called up Al and the two of us went down to The Field to meet up with their group. We arrived a little late and it took us a few minutes to find everyone, but it wasn't too long before we were situated. We had a good time talking to everybody and it was really nice to see Alisa again (it'd been over a year and a half by our count). Unfortunately, one of the girls in her group managed to leave her ID at home, so we were somewhat stuck at that bar since they were already inside. 11:30 seemed to be everyone's bedtime that night, or at least that's when everyone decided to call it a night. Al and I parted ways from the group and started to search for the next round of entertainment.

As we were passing the Onyx Room, I noticed that the bouncer looked really familiar. I tried to place him, and then realized that he was someone that I knew from back home. Eager to find out if I was right, I made my way back over to him. I introduced myself and inquired as to whether or not he was who I thought he was. Sure enough, I had positively ID'd him. I talked to him for about 10 minutes or so and then asked how the club was that night. Without batting an eye, he let us in, no cover, no waiting.

Let's just say that if we'd paid any more to get in the door we wouldn't have even come close to getting our money's worth that night. There were plenty people of inside, but everyone seemed to have their own agendas. It felt very high school dance-ish. Not wanting to waste the rest of the night, we made our way out of there shortly after.

Sunday was pretty uneventful. Again, I spent much of the day catching up on things around the house. I had a hockey game in the afternoon and then I met up with Dana for dinner that night. Dana and I were going to go to Phil's BBQ (a place which Bill and Dana forever rave about, but I have yet to eat there), but they closed just as we were leaving to go out. Instead, we decided to head downtown and get some Persian food at Bandar. When we were done eating, we were both totally wiped out (although, unlike Dana, I didn't have to get up at 4:00 the next morning), so we headed our separate ways.

Last night, Dana and I picked Bill up from the airport (he was flying back from New York). Again, Dana and I planned on hitting up Phil's as soon as we retrieved Bill. However, when Bill got in the car, he informed us that Phil's was closed on Monday nights. Will I ever get to try this famed BBQ restaurant?

Instead, we ended up eating at El Indio, a Mexican joint near Hillcrest. After dinner, the three of us went back to Dana and Bill's to hang out for a bit. We watched a video from a class project that Dana and I had done with a couple other friends during our junior year of high school. To say that we've changed would be an understatement. More amazing was that we passed the class with what we turned in. When we were done with that, I checked out Bill's pictures from his trip and then called it a night.

I can see clearly now

I was doing some more work in my room last night, cleaning up and organizing the last few things and I happened upon my high school yearbook from my senior year. Naturally, this lead to the usual quick trip down memory lane, however, this time around I actually looked beyond the pages and really to see things for what they were.

My first stop was thumbing through the pages containing the seniors that had graduated with honors and had really high GPAs. As I looked over everyone's picture and thought about whom these people were and what they were like, I came to one solid conclusion. Even though I had spent most of my life surrounded by, and even sharing friendships with, these overachievers, given the choice, I don't think I would want to associate with any of them today. All of a sudden, I further understood why companies like to hire business school graduates who maintain a "B" average over those who make perfect marks. "A" students are boring and prioritize the wrong things in life.

Reading through the rest of the yearbook and looking back on who was popular and so sought after, I couldn't help but smile as I thought of the fates of each of these people. How sad it must be to look back and realize that you peaked out in high school and that that was the high point of your life. But, beyond the people, just focusing on the content and what the yearbook committee chose to feature that year spoke volumes about how misguided we all were at that age. Being able to see all that now really made me feel good and gave me a sense of self-awareness, knowing that I've matured quite a bit and am continually gaining the ability to see things for what they really are, not just how they're presented.

Cleaning out my closet

This past weekend was certainly nowhere near as eventful as last. I spent the majority of the time cleaning out my room and downsizing a lot of my clothes. Felt great to get rid of trash bag after trash bag of clothing and extraneous junk. Friday night, Kevin and I went down to Pacific Beach to grab some sushi for dinner. We went to a place that had boats circling the sushi bar and we just picked off whatever we felt like eating. It's a great system, really, because you end up eating the exact amount of sushi that you'd like to consume. I don't know about everyone else, but I always find that it's nearly impossible to order exactly the right amount of sushi when dining with a group of people. Usually, someone at the table ends up with cleanup duties and is required to force down the few remaining morsels on the table often leading to a well overstuffed midsection.

After dinner, we went over to a med-school friend of Dana's place for a dinner party. Kevin and I didn't really eat anything there, obviously, but I did manage to go through half a dozen beers. I've got to say that Dana has done quite as far as the people he's met and associates with from school. Every time I've been able to go out with them I've had a great time.

Saturday, my parents came down to celebrate my dad's birthday. As usual, they were running seriously late and ended up getting into town around 3:30 (expected arrival time was somewhere in the one o'clock range). When they finally showed up, we all went down to Balboa Park to go to the art museum to see a Degas bronze sculpture exhibit that was there. After the museum, it was back up to La Jolla to have an early dinner at Tutto Mare.

After they left, I was feeling a bit tired, but I was hoping to rally and meet up with Al downtown to check out a new bar down there. Alas, it wasn't meant to be and I ended up just parking myself on the couch and watching Singles. It's a pretty decent flick, and I remember seeing most of it years ago. Makes me want to rewatch a lot of movies from the late 80s and 90s to see how my views have changed. One such movie that comes to mind is Reality Bites. Last time I saw that was in high school, and I don't think it had quite the impact that it would have on me today.

The upcoming week should be a pretty good time. I've got bowling tonight, a guy's night on Tuesday, happy hour on Wednesday, going to the Del Mar horse races on Thursday, possibly followed by another happy hour. All in all, a good week.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

It's only been 7 days, but August has been a busy and eventful month so far. First off, shout-outs to Dana, Dave, Dave and my pops; Happy Birthday guys!

I just got back into town from the Bay Area, as I was helping Michelle move up there for school. It was an extremely exhausting weekend, both physically and mentally. The original plan was to have everything packed up by noon on Saturday, then head up to Santa Barbara to spend the night at her parents place. Then, on Sunday, we'd complete the drive to Berkeley and move all of her things in. Further complicating the move was that we were also moving half of her roommate's things up to Palo Alto to the roommate's boyfriend's house. Well, I don't think I have to tell you that this was not how the move was executed.

We started filling the U-Haul on Saturday morning…continued through lunch…and into the evening. Plan revised: now we were just going to get up early on Sunday morning and do the entire drive and move(s) in one day.

We pulled out of San Diego around 8:00 in the morning and began the merciless drive. Fortunately, we made great time and were in Palo Alto by 4:30. We met up with the boyfriend and drove out to his place to unload the roommate's stuff. When I packed the truck, I did my best to ensure that things were secure and, as long as there were no major problems, would stay in place for the duration of the drive. As it turns out, the boyfriend lived about 10 miles up a mountain road, followed by another couple of miles down a dirt road. I drove up the paved portion of the drive, taking care to go slowly in hopes of preserving the cargo behind me. Well, when we got to the turn off for the dirt road, the boyfriend hopped into the driver's seat to pilot the rig down the unmaintained access road. I guess that traveling the road daily gave him license to fly down the road with the moving truck, bouncing over potholes and sliding through corners. I cringed as I imagined the two girl's belongings being roughly scrambled behind us. Sure enough, when we pulled in front of the house and lifted up the back door, it was total chaos. Very few items were in the same place that they were in when they left San Diego.

We unloaded there, then made the final trek up to Berkeley. Once there, Michelle's friend, Jennifer, and Manu and Pattie were kind enough to come by and help us schlep everything from the truck, up three flights of stairs, to the third floor of the apartment complex. When we were done unloading, we went to a local brewery for some suds and pizza to celebrate. After dinner, I had no problem falling asleep.

On Monday, Michelle had to leave for the morning to attend Math Camp (a refresher course for the incoming business school students). I took the opportunity to sleep in and catch my breath from the day before. After I got up, I went to take a shower. Now, I'm quite familiar with the concept of water conservation and low-flow shower heads, but what I experienced next was unfathomable. The amount of water coming out of the shower head could have been measured in cups per hour instead of gallons per minute. It literally took me 5 minutes just to wash my arms. I soon regretted doing so, but I actually tried to wash my hair under the trickle of water dripping from the shower head. Another 15 minutes lost in my failed attempt to get as much shampoo out of my hair as possible. Finally, I couldn't take it any more and I turned off the water going to the shower head and, instead, let it all come out the spout. I got down on my hands and knees and proceeded to bathe myself as best I could, all the while cursing the wretched plumbing. I returned to the bedroom, less than invigorated, and awaited Michelle's return.

She came back not long after and the two of us left in search of food. There was a nice café just down the street, so we opted to eat there. After lunch it was time to return the U-Haul, so we made our way into the not-as-nice part of town to take care of that.

In the evening, Michelle and I had a very nice dinner at a little Italian place called Oliveto in Berkeley. After dinner, we met up again with Manu and Pattie to go out for a little dessert. This also afforded us the chance to check out their new house. The place was really, really nice. Very large and spacious, everything looked new and they even had a backyard, complete with patio, built in BBQ grill and a little guest room. I will certainly say that they did quite well for themselves. After grabbing some gelato, Michelle and I returned to her place to collapse and get some sleep.

The next morning was the same routine, Michelle had math class and I stayed behind to recharge. When she came back, we went out for a quick sushi lunch and then returned to her apartment to hang out before leaving for the airport.

When I got to the airport, the woman at the counter put me on an earlier flight, one that happened to be leaving in 20 minutes. Well, knowing how airport security works these days, I didn't think there was any chance of me making the flight, especially when I looked down and noticed the checkerboard pattern on my ticket (for those who don't know, this means that they spend extra time rummaging through everything that you've brought to the airport with you that day). Sure enough, I get to the security checkpoint and I'm ushered into a special line. I'm forced to completely empty my pockets, remove my shoes and belt, and, before I can pass through the metal detector, I am asked to remove my shirt as well. Obviously I passed through the detector with no problems, since the only metal that I could possibly have been carrying would have had to be implanted somewhere in my body. But, I would have been naïve to think that that was all I would be subjected to. Once through the detector, one of the security workers asked me to unbutton my pants and to open my fly so that he could be sure that I wasn't carrying anything around my waist. My decision not to go commando that day certainly paid off.

After redressing, I sprinted to the gate to catch my flight. Amazingly, I made it just as they had started to board the aircraft. An hour and change later and I was back in sweet home San Diego, where Kevin was kind enough to pick me up from the airport.

It will undoubtedly take some time for me to get used to not having Michelle around. Without getting into details, we are no longer seeing each other. That alone made for a very sad trip back and it's been an emotional couple of days since. I guess I just have to have faith that in the long run it's the right decision.

Here's to the future and whatever it may hold.