Got some extra time this afternoon, so here are some links:

Egg Separator

Is there anything more frustrating than having soda called "pop"? Check out this link to see the pop vs. soda demographic.

Pose a question to a real Magic 8-Ball shaken by a robotic arm.

Burned that slice of toast this morning? Use it for Toast Art.

Some days it's just better to stay home.

Happy Halloween! Today is definitely one of my favorite holidays, although more so in recent years than when I was younger. I think it’s because now I can wear costumes that take some effort and look a lot better, as opposed to the silk-screened trash bag with the cheap plastic mask. Remember those things? The only thing I remember is that the cutouts for the eyes would always dig into the flesh surrounding my eyes. And, no matter what I did, I could never see out of both eyes at the same time.

Last night could’ve gone a little better. I left work early to work on my costume, and I made a lot of progress. Then I had my first hockey game of the night, floor hockey at UCSD. It was a pretty rough game because they have some new refs who don’t call anything, so there is a lot of contact. Going into the third period, we were losing 4-1. But, we came back strong, and by the end of the night, the score was 6-4 in favor of us. After the game, I had a couple hours to relax at home before heading over to UTC to play some ice hockey. The game had a similar outcome, but I was in a lot more pain.

I should have taken it as a sign, when during the warm-up before the game, I caught one of the blades of my skates on the ice and fell down pretty hard, bouncing my head off the ice. To add insult to injury, it was right after the Zamboni got off the ice, so the ice was still wet. As I slid along the surface of the rink, my ass became soaking wet. Not a good start to the game.

About half way through the game, I was flying down the ice with the puck, closing in on the goal. Right before I was about to cut in front of the net to take a shot, a player from the other team skated into me and lifted my skates off the ice. Next thing I know, I’m literally flying, horizontally, about a foot off the ice. I continued in this predicament until making contact with the goalie with my upper body, while my left leg came to an immediate stop as it collided with the goal post. I stood up and skated slowly over to the bench with one of the worst Charlie Horses of my life. Halfway through the third period, I was carrying the puck through center ice with a fair amount of speed. I wasn’t paying enough attention to the whereabouts of one of their players and before I knew it, we were on a collision course. His shinpad made solid contact with my right thigh and I immediately hit the ice, writhing in pain. I couldn’t move for well over a minute. I just sat there, stretched out on the ice, having just been handed the worst Charlie Horse of my life. It hurt to move my leg in any direction. I hobbled over to the bench on one leg and sat out the majority of the period.

At the end of the third period, the score was tied 2-2, so we went into overtime. With 4.1 seconds left, someone on our team buried the puck in the back of the net and we won! A small reward for the pain that I’m sitting in today.

Tonight, I’m planning on meeting up with a bunch of friends and heading over to a party that’s near downtown. After the party, we’ll probably head down to the Gaslamp for a few hours. (if you’re interested in going, drop me a line)

Happy Humpday to all. Last night was pretty uneventful; I spent the majority of the evening assembling my costume for tomorrow night. I still have to pick up a couple more pieces and do a bunch of spray painting and then I should be good to go. I’m going to try to get out of here early today to finish things up. Later this evening I have a floor hockey game and then an ice hockey game after that.

My Vegas adventure began on Thursday. I got to the airport with just over an hour to spare, checked all my bags and sat down to prepare for the weekend. I was flying Southwest and the flight was a full one, but I was still able to grab a window seat. Minutes later, a larger woman wedged herself into the middle seat. The only thing more bulky than the woman was her carry-on bag, which she proceeded to wedge under the seat in front of her with a few violent kicks.

An hour and ten minutes later and we touched down in good ol’ Sin City. I grabbed my bags, hopped on a limo bus and 30 minutes later I was checked in and getting settled in my room. I was pretty tired, so I took a short nap. I headed out around 8:00 to check out the scene and get something to eat. I wandered around until I found myself at Il Fornaio within New York, New York. When I finished carbo-loading, it was closing in on 11:00 and with a 8:30 game the following morning, I decided it was in my best interest to go to bed.

The next morning, I met up with the rest of the team. They had all driven up together in a very large motorhome, so that’s what we drove to the game. Our first game was at a rink that was about 20 minutes off the strip. We arrived there with plenty of time to spare, got suited up and hit the ice. It became readily apparent that we were in the midst of a fairly uneven match-up. At the end of the game, we were left to lick our wounds, having been handed a 7-2 loss.

After the game, we drove back to the hotel, got showered up and met up at the buffet. Suffice it to say, having just finished a tough game, we got our money’s worth. After lunch, I went back to my room to grab a quick nap before our second game that evening. The second game was much like the first, and when all was said and done, we were faced with a 6-0 loss. It seemed a little unfair that we were facing teams that were so much better than we were, so we did a little investigating. It turns out that because we were a first year team, they had placed us in the wrong division.

After the second game, we again returned to the hotel, showered up and met up for dinner. We decided to go to the steakhouse in the Luxor to eat. Dinner was excellent; I had a filet mignon that was cooked to perfection. After the meal, most of the guys went to Club RA in the hotel. Nik and Barbara were planning on coming into town later that night, so I opted out of the club in order to wait around for them. I was having trouble staying awake after playing two games and eating a large dinner, so I took a walk down the strip. Around 12:30 or so, I got a message on my phone from Nik saying that they were just leaving San Diego and they’d be in town around 5 or 6 in the morning. As soon as I heard that, I made my way back to the hotel so that I could get to bed. I stopped by the front desk to drop off a key for Nik, an ordeal that took 30 minutes I might add, and fell fast asleep.

Nik and Barbara showed up around 5:30 in the morning. We all slept in until noon or so and then headed out in search of food. Our foraging found us at the food court area in New York, New York. After lunch, we made our way back to the Luxor so that I could meet up with the rest of the team for our 4:45 game. Our final game was at a completely different rink, so it required leaving a little earlier. The team we were to face in that game beat the first team we played by a fair margin. In short, nobody was really looking forward to playing in this game. Instead of the traditional victory, we decided that if we scored two points and held the other team to single digits, then that would be considered a victory in our eyes. The first period went pretty well and at the end, it was 0-0. The second and third periods, on the other hand, didn’t go quite as well. I don’t remember how many goals they scored in the second period, but it was probably around 5 or 6. The third period was more of the same. With about 10 minutes to go, I found myself skating with the puck down the left side of the rink. I had one of their defensemen standing between myself and the goal. When I was about 15 feet from the net, I determined that he was providing enough of a screen that the goalie wouldn’t be able to see the puck. The goalie seemed to be cooperating as well and left a sizable gap between his leg pads. I made a quick motion with my shoulder to fake the defenseman and let go of a quick wrist shot. The puck sailed between the goalie’s pads and landed softly in the back of the net. It would be the only point we would score that night. When the final buzzer rang, the scoreboard showed 10-1. We didn’t quite meet our goal, but considering what we were up against, it was a respectable showing.

After changing back into our clothes, we headed out to the RV, only to find that someone had parked their car within a couple feet of the side of the vehicle, preventing us from leaving the space. It’s one thing to do something like that to an old, retired couple on their Vegas vacation, but it’s a completely different scenario when done to a bunch of hockey guys. After determining how much room was needed to get the motorhome out of the space, a bunch of us surrounded the car, picked it up and moved it sufficiently out of the way. Quite a sight, to say the least.

After returning to the hotel, Nik, Barbara and myself had planned to meet up with the team and grab some dinner. Everyone on the team was taking too long to get ready, so the three of us went to a sushi bar that was in the hotel. Dinner was okay, but definitely overpriced for what we got. After dinner, we made our way over to the Ballagio to meet up with some family friends. We all sat around talking until 1:30 in the morning. Everyone was pretty tired at that point, so we went back to the Luxor. Nik and Barbara caught a second wind after we got back to the room, so they went down to do some gambling. I didn’t have it in me, so I went straight to bed.

Before I went to bed on Wednesday night, I talked to Christopher, who informed me that in order to make up for not showing up, he was going to get me a room at the Mirage. So, Sunday morning, we checked out of the Luxor and made our way over to the Mirage. I stepped up to the registration desk, told the woman I was checking in and handed her my ID. After a couple minutes of searching for my reservation, she came back to tell me that there wasn’t anything under my name. Sure that I indeed had a reservation at the Mirage, I gave her Christopher’s name in case he’d made the reservation under his name. She didn’t have anything under his name either. Then she checked over at Treasure Island to make sure that the reservation wasn’t there either. No such luck. I asked if I could make a phone call to figure out what was going on. I got Christopher on the line who then informed me that he hadn’t made a reservation at the hotel and had decided that he wanted to fly me back to San Diego a day early instead. At that point, that was actually preferred by me, so he said he’d get back to me within an hour with my flight info. In the meantime, I left my bags with the bellhop, and we went to get lunch at the café in the hotel. Midway through lunch, Christopher called to give me my flight info. I was on a Southwest flight that was leaving at 10:30 that night.

After lunch, Nik, Barbara and I walked over to the Sahara to do some gambling at the dollar tables. The tables were packed solid, so I wandered around for a bit until something opened up. Before long, there was a spot at a table with a bunch of guys who looked really familiar. It took me a minute to place them, but I soon realized that they were from San Diego and participated in our bowling league. While we were gambling, I talked them up for a bit and found out that they’re all post-docs at UCSD. By the time I was done, I left the table down about $10, but I definitely made up for it with all of the free drinks. From the Sahara, we cabbed back up to the Mirage to grab dinner and then Nik and Barbara were going to head back to San Diego. We ate at the buffet, and again, I think I got my money’s worth.

We got in the car and left the hotel around 7:30. Nik dropped me off at the airport on their way out of town. I was hoping I could get on an earlier flight, but unfortunately, the 8:30 flight was oversold by about 30 seats, so there was little chance of that. I sat at the gate for the next 2 hours. Luckily, there was a TV at the gate and the time passed fairly quickly. The plane was running a couple minutes late, but we were all on board by 10:30. Evidently, that flight had been oversold by a couple of seats as well, so they offered to put people up for the night and compensate them if anyone was willing to get off. Getting that sorted out took another 15-20 minutes. For some reason, we were still sitting at the gate. Not long after, the flight attendant came over the intercom and said, “this flight has been canceled, everyone needs to gather up their belongings and return to the gate.” Damn.

So, we all filed out of the plane and formed a line in front of the counter while they figured out what they were going to do with us. About an hour later, woman behind the counter made an announcement asking if people were interested in flying to LAX and then being bussed down to San Diego. Fortunately, not enough people took her up on her offer, so they were forced to come up with another solution. Another 30 minutes passed before they let us know that they were going to put us up in a hotel for the night and charter a special 6:30 AM flight for us. By the time I got my transportation and hotel vouchers, it was 1:00 in the morning. I cabbed over to the Alexis Park hotel and found myself standing in yet another line to check in. Evidently an America West flight had been canceled as well and there were about 10 people there from that flight.

I got into bed around 1:30, slept for 3 hours, checked out, returned to the airport and got into line at the gate again. Talk about déjà vu. By 7:30 I was back in San Diego and not a moment too soon. I took a chance that Dana would be heading up towards UCSD for school and gave him a call (since he lives so close to the airport). I got lucky and he was able to drop me off at home. I spent most of the morning sleeping, and then I went out in search of a Halloween costume. I was able to find most of the components I needed for this year’s number.

After shopping, it was time for bowling. Last night was used to determine where we would end up in the standings for the end of the first quarter. We were in fifth place going into the night, so we were on the defensive to avoid dropping into sixth. The night went well and we won 3 of the 4 games. We should be getting some prize money next week.

Nothing going on tonight, except that I have to work on my costume.

Not much to write about today, as I’m pretty busy wrapping up a bunch of little projects before I take off. Tomorrow, I’ll be on my way to Sin City for the hockey tournament, so there won’t be any updates until next week.

I’ll be staying at the Luxor. Nik and Barbara are supposed to join me on Friday night. Al was supposed to go as well, but a $350 parking ticket eliminated the chance of that becoming a reality. The tournament runs through Sunday morning, but I opted to stay an extra day because Christopher was supposed to come in on Sunday for a real estate conference. My plan was to stay with him on Sunday night. Well, that all went out the window this morning when I received a call from him saying that he is no longer going. Now, I have no idea what I’m doing on Sunday night. Can’t say I’m not curious as to how all this will turn out.

I have a floor hockey game tonight, but I still haven’t decided if I’m going to play or not. Other than that, I imagine my night will just consist of packing.

Looking for a good read? Check out True Porn Clerk Stories.

How about a couple good product links?

Here's one for eliminating hangovers.

Or, perhaps you need to beat the drug test at the office. Here's some "Uni-sex Synthetic Urine."

‘Twas a great night on the lanes last night! Al and I headed over to the bowling alley around 6, walked around until we each found our “special” balls, and started warming up.
We were short two people, but we didn’t take on any subs in hopes that we would get out of the alley a lot earlier (when people don’t show up, their score is their average minus 10). For whatever reason, I couldn’t throw a decent ball to save my life. Al, on the other hand, was working magic with his “Pink Lady.” By the 8th frame of the first game, I was still throwing crap and had yet to break 100. Al was a lot more consistent with his shots and was making up for my weak showing. Minutes later, the pinsetting machine on our lane broke. When the problem couldn’t be fixed after about 20 minutes, they decided to move us down to another lane. So much for getting to leave early. Because of the inconvenience, we got a round of drinks on the house. I may have been getting over a cold, but I’m not one to turn down a free beer!

Once we settled into the other lanes, I began to find my groove and started throwing some much better balls. By the third game, Al and I were en fuego. Al ended up throwing a 143 and I rolled a 202! It was a great way to end the night. We ended up sweeping the other team in all 4 games, which should move us up in the rankings (= more prize money).

Anybody with a functioning email account has probably received a letter from Nigeria regarding a large sum of money that they are entitled to. Well, here is one person’s correspondence.

Links galore!

One of my favorite video clips.

Another hockey fan injured at a game.

Orgasms around the world.

Help for Bush.

Fired from Costco for eyebrow ring.

The Micro-Penis defense.

http://www.dictionaraoke.org/
Main Entry: dic·tio·nar·a·o·ke
Pronunciation: 'dik-sh&-"ner-A-O-ke
Definition: Audio clips from online dictionaries sing the hits of yesterday and today. The fun of karaoke meets the word power of the dictionary.

Had a new experience leaving for lunch today. I got into the elevator on the second floor to go down to the parking garage. Hit the first floor button and the doors closed and the elevator started to go down. When I reached the first floor, nothing happened. Crap. A small part of me has always wanted to get stuck in an elevator, just for the experience. Looks like today was its lucky day. I started hitting the buttons: open door, 1st floor, 2nd floor, etc. Nothing. The buttons would light up for a second and then go dark again. After a couple rounds of this, I'd had enough. I put my fingers between the two doors of the elevator and pried them apart. The elevator floor was sitting about a foot below the ground level. I continued to pull the doors apart and stepped out.

Here's an interesting Ebay auction (make sure to read all the way through the ad).

It can be difficult to stay faithful in marriage.

Who knew it came in easy to swallow pills?

Here's one way to foil that sniper.

What porn collectors have been waiting for! Anna and Brittney!

Back in the office for the second three-day week in a row. Although, this time it will be costing me vacation days instead of sick days as I head to the illustrious Sin City on Thursday. I don’t think there are many things that I hate more than being sick. Last week was terrible. From Thursday through Saturday evening, I didn’t leave the house once. My activities included sleeping, eating and watching the occasional DVD that I’ve owned for months but never bothered viewing. Friday night was probably the worst though. I had planned on helping Christine move some furniture into her new place and then I was supposed to have my birthday dinner with Bill. Instead, I found myself lying in bed all night cursing this wretched cold. Having had no human contact for the past 48 hours made it one of the loneliest nights I’ve had in a long time.

Saturday was more of the same; I spent much of the day in bed or sitting on the couch watching movies. Saturday evening, my monotonous routine was broken up by the Bob Dylan concert. Al picked me up and we headed out in search of food. We ended up down in Hillcrest at Seven. The food was really good, even if the service was a tad quirky. After dinner, we headed straight over to SDSU for the concert. Dylan can still pack ‘em in, as the theater was at capacity +. As always, Dylan put on a great show, playing many of his classics as well as a few covers.

The inadvertent show put on by various members of the audience was nearly as entertaining as the concert itself. There was the woman in the next section down who possessed absolutely zero rhythm and would gyrate and flail about with the same fanatical intensity whether the song was slow or fast. Then there was the guy who seemed to be making his way down the section one empty seat at a time. Somehow, the security guards caught on to what he was doing and came over to escort him away. As he tried searching for his seemingly misplaced ticket, he pulled out a wad of cash (mostly one’s and five’s, apparently) and tried to nonchalantly bribe the guards. Needless to say, that didn’t quite work and it wasn’t long before he was removed from the premises. Finally, who could forget the whacked out gentleman three rows down, who was clearly on something to begin with, who pulled out a dime bag of weed and some cigarette papers, and began rolling his own joints.

Sunday morning, Al and I got together for our weekly practice session at the bowling alley. When we finished up, I headed off to the airport to pick up Michelle, who was returning from Las Vegas. She and I spent the afternoon together. We had lunch at World Curry and then tried to find Halloween costumes without much success.

Today, I’m going to try to get a haircut at lunch and then tonight, I have bowling. I also have a hockey game at 9:45, but there is no way I’ll be playing.

No updates today, as I'm sitting at home trying to feel remotely better. Back to bed...

Looks like I’ve officially caught whatever bug was floating around the office. Dammit. My throat is killing me right now. Supposedly the next thing I have to look forward to is it moving into my sinuses. Can’t wait. I would’ve stayed home today, but it’s my boss’ birthday and we’re taking him out to lunch. There is also a going away party this afternoon for one of the recruiters. I will probably stay home tomorrow and sleep through the majority of the day. I definitely have to kick this before heading to Vegas next week.

I was supposed to play floor hockey tonight, but I don’t see that happening. I can’t afford to have this thing move into my chest.

Jesus of the week.

Pick your Russian bride (or husband).

I really, really can’t wait to go home and take a nap. I’m completely wiped out from last night. Started off with bowling and finished with hockey. Bowling went pretty well. We ended up splitting the games 2-2. Mark’s girlfriend (Shira) was in attendance, watching us bowl while painting her nails. Unbeknownst to me, the girls were conspiring to paint my nails as well. During the third game, Melissa pinned my hand down while Shira painted one of my nails. The next ball I threw was a perfect strike. As a joke, I let them paint a second nail (in hopes of getting another strike). It became a running joke for the rest of the night (although others offered up their nails instead of mine). It took my mind off the game enough that I could relax and I threw a 186 to close out the night.

Hockey didn’t go quite as well. We ended up losing 4-1 in one of the most physical games that I’ve played in in a long time. The real irony was that the game wasn’t physical because the other team was good, rather it was because they were awful. There were bodies flying all over the place. I was getting frustrated as well because they weren’t playing the puck and I came really close to getting in a couple of altercations with various members of their team. Fortunately, the ref called a penalty on one of their guys right before I was going to charge him.

After hockey, I came home and tried to remove the nail polish from earlier in the night. Ladies, I have no idea what the hell you’re putting on the tips of your fingers, but I hope they’re using the same formula on armored cars, tanks, etc. In short, the stuff is damn near permanent. First I tried removing it with paint thinner. No effect. Then, I tried gasoline. Nothing. Next, I soaked my fingers in engine degreaser; that seemed to do more damage to my hands than the nail polish. I finally ended up sanding the impenetrable coating off my nails since there was no way I was going to work the next morning with “Blossom Chrome” nails.

No plans for tonight, except that I hope to get a full night’s sleep.

And so ends another action-packed weekend. Friday night, I met up with Bonnie, Sara, and Bonnie’s boyfriend Ralph for dinner. Originally, we had planned on going to Benihana, however, they didn’t have any available reservations at a reasonable hour and the wait time at the door was about an hour and a half. Instead, we decided to go to Bully’s down the street. Big mistake. We arrived at the restaurant shortly after 7:00, put our name down and were told it would be about a 30 minute wait. After about 40 minutes, the hostess finally called our name and seated our party.

We sat down in the patio area of the restaurant. Minutes later, our waitress appeared with menus and began to take our drink orders. Sara wanted a beer and when she asked the waitress what was available, the waitress listed a couple of the beers that they had on tap and concluded with, “…and we have a lot of beers in bottles.” Not really helpful to say the least. Bonnie ordered an iced tea and I got a Coke. When she brought our drinks, the waitress mixed up virtually every one. Additionally, my drink came in a tiny cocktail glass, composed almost entirely of ice. “I hope she’s good with the refills,” I thought to myself.

Next, we ordered some appetizers. Naturally, as soon as the waitress left with our order, I was staring at an empty glass. Fortunately, she happened by our table shortly after and I asked for a refill. It was another 10 minutes or so before she reappeared empty handed. Again, I flagged her down and asked for a refill (at this point, Bonnie’s glass was empty as well, so she asked for one too). Five minutes passed before she returned with Bonnie’s iced tea. My soda was nowhere in sight. For the third time, I asked for a refill, this time from another waiter. That seemed to do the trick as I finally received another couple ounces of Coke dribbled in a glass of ice. Finally, the appetizers showed up. Since we were encroaching on 8:00, we were all ravenous and quickly devoured them.

I think that was the last time I saw our waitress for the next hour and twenty minutes, except for the two or three brief, unfulfilled requests for refills. Our food finally showed up around 9:25 (it’s easy to pay attention to the exact time your food arrives when you’ve been waiting an eternity for it). Ralph had ordered a steak, but it arrived without a knife. Of course, he was promised one, but alas, it would be 20 minutes before that request was answered. We were in unanimous agreement that the food itself was definitely not worth the wait. I’ve heard of aged beef, but this was ridiculous. I’m sure anyone with a hint of common sense could predict that after the meal it took another 20 minutes or so to get the check.

So, what should have been a nice hour and a half meal turned into a three-hour ordeal. It was definitely the worst service I have received in a long time. I will not be going back.

After dinner, I picked up Michelle and Al and the three of us headed over to Diem’s birthday party. We picked up Bill en route and got to the party around 12:00. Things were hopping at Diem’s and we all had a good time.

Saturday, I screwed around the house for the majority of the day. In the evening, I had a hockey game. I played one of the worst games I’ve played in a long time. We did end up winning, however, so it wasn’t a total write-off.

Sunday, I got up, met up with Al, and the two of us hit the bowling alley to do some practicing. I spent the majority of the time trying to throw the ball “correctly” without much success. So, I went back to my incorrect form and threw a 187. So much for that.

After bowling, Michelle and I headed up to Hemet to celebrate my birthday with my folks. Since I don’t come up often, my mother made the equivalent of about 4 different meals and three desserts. All of it was excellent though.

Tonight, I have bowling at 6:00 and ice hockey at 9:45. Tomorrow should be fun…

Find out what spy-ware has been installed on your computer.

A little over an hour and it’s time to start another weekend. Last night, I joined Michelle, her friend Becky, and a bunch of Becky’s friends for happy hour at Rock Bottom to celebrate Becky finishing her PhD. I was able to squeeze a nap in beforehand, so I was able to have a good time. I came away with a newfound respect for the amount of beer that grad students are able to consume.

Tonight, I’m joining Bonnie and Sarah for dinner at Benihana. Later I’m heading over to Diem’s to celebrate her birthday. Tomorrow, I’m probably just going to try to get stuff done around the house. Tomorrow night, I was supposed to go to dinner with Bill to celebrate my birthday, but I just found out I have a hockey game. Hopefully we’ll be able to go out next week.

Sunday, I’ll most likely get together with the bowling team to do a little practicing. Later in the day, Michelle and I are heading up to Hemet to celebrate my birthday with my folks.

No time for any links today…well, maybe one.

Have to add one more: Seems like even the homeless have blogs.

I really need a new bed. My neck has been killing me for the last couple of weeks and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. In general, I would say that I haven’t been sleeping that well lately. I can’t seem to make it through the night without tossing and turning at regular intervals.

Yesterday after work I went home and took a long nap. After napping, I grabbed my hockey gear and headed over to UCSD to play some floor hockey. It was pretty obvious that I hadn’t played with a ball for a while, as I was launching it every which way during the warm up. During the game, I felt a bit off too; I was nowhere close to being “in the zone.” We did end up winning, however, 3-2. Part way through the game, I made the mistake of being about 5 feet away from a guy on the other team who ripped off a huge slap shot. My bicep stopped all forward motion of the ball, leaving a huge welt. In fact, the ball hit me so hard that it literally left a divot in my arm.

I’ve been trying to get into the gym for the last week or so, but with my neck bothering me like it has, I haven’t made it in. I suppose it’s good to be taking a short break anyway.

Can you find the apricot?

Designer vaginas?

Not too much to write about today. Michelle and I had a really nice dinner last night at Parallel 33. Someone in the office brought me a dozen bagels this morning for my birthday and as a token of thanks. Tonight, I have a floor hockey game at UCSD.

Turn off the internet.

Find a date using their license plate.

Last night was a frustrating night for bowling. On the whole, we bowled really well as a team. Unfortunately, the other team that we were bowling against seemed to be doing really well too. I’m not sure what the final tally was, but I’m guessing we won 1, lost 3. After bowling, I rushed over to UTC to play ice hockey. I think I spent a lot of time on the ice, but not necessarily on my skates. We ended up getting blown out by at least 6 or 7 goals.

Today, a bunch of the IS staff took me out to lunch for my birthday. We went to Tutto Mare here in La Jolla. The food was pretty good, although a bit expensive. The real highlight of the meal came when one of the cables/power cords suspending the light fixture over our table broke. The table suddenly got dark and next thing I know there’s a power cord swinging wildly above our heads. Luckily, there were a couple other cables that prevented the light from touching down on our table.

Tonight, the weeklong birthday celebration continues. Michelle is taking me out to Parallel 33 for dinner. I can’t wait! The food there is amazing—I highly recommend it.

Jesus saves? Well, not always.

Why does the shower curtain stick to your body when you turn the water on?

San Fransisco penis puppeteers sport live frontal junk on A.M. talk show.

It’s been a pretty good day thus far. I slept in a little bit this morning and still made it into work on time. I received the traditional happy birthday wake-up call from my parents. We had a tostada party at work for lunch, and I finally passed my smog test.

The smog test turned out to be quite an ordeal though. I left work around 10:00 to get everything taken care of. When I left my house today, I was still missing a 2” piece of hose that attached to the by-pass valve. So, my plan was to stop by the auto parts store, pick up a replacement tube, fix it in the parking lot and then drive over to the smog place. The first snag was at the auto parts store when they wanted to charge me $14 for the hose. There was no way I was going to pay $14 for a part that was going to be on the car for 10 minutes. The hell with it, I thought to myself, I’ll just try to pass without it. So, I drove over to 15 Minute Smog Check to get smogged. After sitting in the waiting area for about 45 minutes, one of the techs came out with my keys and paperwork. Turns out I passed everything, except for the visual because that damn hose was missing.

After all that I’d been through, there was no way I was going to let it go at that. I took the tech out to the car and went through a thorough explanation about how the valve worked, what its purpose was and how it would have no effect on my emissions. Whatever I said turned out to be convincing enough for him to look up the part on the computer to see if my setup could be exempted. Fortunately, the computer returned something that sounded similar, but definitely wasn’t the same part. Knowing that if it was in the computer, I could pass the test, I quickly reassured the tech that that was exactly the part on my car. I saw my birthday wish coming true before my very eyes as he agreed to retest the car.

I wasn’t safe yet, however, as a couple of the numbers from the first test were dangerously close to failing. I nervously sat in the waiting room, much like a soon-to-be father in the maternity ward. 30 minutes later, the tech reappeared with my paperwork and keys; I had passed! Actually, my numbers were much better than the first time around. I think they really need to change the name from 15 Minute Smog Check though.

Tonight, I have bowling after work and then a hockey game immediately after that. Hopefully, I'll be bowling a little better than I did last week. Tomorrow, people from work are taking me out to celebrate my birthday. The only thing I know for sure is that we're not going to El Torito.

Today marks the start of the 2nd quarter century of my life. The last year has been a good one: I’m currently in the best shape of my life. I entered the “real world,” by starting my first career position (in fact, one week from tomorrow will mark the end of my first year as a network administrator). Michelle and I started seeing each other at the beginning of the calendar year. I’ve met a lot of new people and strengthened existing friendships. I’ve been able to continue to play and improve my hockey, as well as adding bowling to my extracurricular activities. Overall, I’m pretty pleased with the way everything is going and I think the next 25 years will be even better.

I left the office early on Thursday to take care of some things on my car so that I could pass smog. I got a new catalytic converter put on and in the process lost at least 10-15 horsepower. After that, I headed over to the tire store to have a couple of front tires put on (which was a necessity seeing as how there was about a condom’s thickness worth of tread left on the old tires).

Friday was a really busy day for me around the office. I spent the entire day setting up computers in one of our training labs. After work, I went home to clean up the house a bit and get ready to celebrate Michelle’s birthday. I picked her up for dinner and the two of us headed over to Japengo. The food was excellent and, thanks to an old Hemet friend of mine who happened to be working there, we got hooked up with a birthday dessert for Michelle.

Saturday was Michelle’s birthday, so we had breakfast together and then she went off to the beach to do some surfing. This left me time to try to get my car smogged. I spent a good chunk of the day ripping off every go-fast goodie from the car. The only part I was unable to remove was an aftermarket bypass valve on one of the intake pipes. I couldn’t take it off because I had sold the original piece. I was hoping that this wouldn’t be a problem, as I’d passed smog with it before. By the time I was done, I’d estimate that I had removed at least 50 or 60 horsepower. It’s so bad right now, that Michelle starts laughing whenever I try to accelerate.

I took the car, now thoroughly castrated, to the testing station. After sitting in the waiting area for a half an hour or so, one of the techs returned my keys to me and told me that I’d failed the visual portion of the test because of the by-pass valve. Crap. I went home and started trying to find a replacement piece that I could borrow. I called up a friend of mine who has been through a few MR-2’s to see if there was any chance he had a spare or would be willing to temporarily swap the one that was currently on his car. Sure enough, he said he had a spare and would meet me at his house. I checked the clock to see if I had enough time before Michelle’s birthday celebration. It would be tight, but I decided to give it a shot.

I got out to Rancho Bernardo to meet my friend Mark. When I got there, he was ruffling through some boxes trying to find the part. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful in located the parts, so he called up a third guy who he had done a motor swap for to see if he had the coveted valve. This guy said he would have to check and he’d call back. So Mark and I shot the breeze for a while. Finally, his friend called back to say that he couldn’t find the part. Now it seemed that the only option was to swap the parts from his car to mine. Since neither of us really wanted to go this route, we tore into his garage one more time in hopes of unearthing the part. When checking the second to last box in the garage, I was met with the first stroke of luck in this entire ordeal. We’d found it! Part in hand, I left Mark’s place and tried to get home in time to meet Michelle.

Fortunately, she was running a little behind as well, so I wasn’t too hurried. Kevin, Michelle and I went out to dinner in PB. We tried to go to World Curry (which I’d still really like to try some day), but the wait was too long. Instead, we opted to go next door and get some sushi at Ichiban. While it certainly wasn’t on par from the previous night’s sushi, it was still pretty good. After dinner, the three of us went shopping for some alcohol for the party that night. We got back to Michelle’s just minutes before the first guests started to arrive.

The plan for the night was to drink and hang out at her place for a while and then go down to Mission Bay to take a ride on the Bahia Belle. The turnout at the party was just right and everyone seemed to be having a good time. When it was time to head over to the boat, some cab issues delayed us for a bit, but we made it over there eventually. One of the cars didn’t make it to the meeting spot, as one of the partygoers insisted that the boat left from a different dock. From what I remember, the boat ride wasn’t quite as glorious as the website had made it out to be. For starters, I think there were less than 10 people on the boat that weren’t associated with our group. The DJ was replaced with some longhaired, white trash, Willie Nelson-esque burnout who serenaded us with his rendition of Hotel California. We stayed on the boat for an hour or so and then disembarked to go to Nick’s for the remainder of the night. Everyone had a few drinks there (I opted to start sobering up) until we all finally parted ways around 1:30.

Sunday morning, Michelle and I went to the Broken Yolk for breakfast, which left us both feeling slightly ill afterwards. Later in the day, we went to the mall to do some shopping and in the evening, she took me out to dinner for my birthday. We went to George’s down in La Jolla. Fortunately, we got there early enough to catch the sunset. After dinner, we went back to my place to watch Serendipity with John Cusack.

I'm probably not going to have time to post an update today as I'm trying frantically to finish a project so that I don't have to come in over the weekend.

Here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly from last night’s hockey game. The good: I had a pretty solid game; scored two goals and had an assist. The bad: We lost 6-3. The ugly: The ref ended the game early because our captain hit her head on the ice so hard that she suffered a concussion and had to be taken to the hospital.

I’m leaving work early today so I can take care of some smog stuff for my car. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’ve spent my entire morning assembling office furniture and integrating computers into the finished desks. It’s painfully obvious that whoever designed these desks never tried actually installing a computer in them. They’re full of great ideas that don’t actually work in the real world.

Nothing going on tonight, so I’m going to get some work done around the house (seems to be a never-ending project).

Is it just me, or did someone slam the brakes on summer and give fall the go-ahead? All of a sudden, the days are overcast and the nights are getting colder. Time to throw the flannel sheets on my bed.

Last night, Michelle and I met up with Nik, Barbara, Nik’s brother and his friend for the Béla Fleck concert up in Escondido. Going into the show, I had no idea what to expect beyond some guy playing a banjo. The concert was amazing. There were four members of the band, a bassist, a guy who was playing various saxes and the flute, a guy playing some sort of beat box and percussion, and Béla on the banjo. The guy playing the bass was incredible. He seemed unaware of any of the boundaries normally placed on bass players. The sax player was pretty amazing too; at one point, he was playing two saxes simultaneously. Béla was great. It had to keep reminding myself that he was playing a banjo for much of the concert; it sounded so far removed from a typical banjo.

While the band was terrific, the audience left a little something to be desired. The eclectic personality of the audience definitely matched that of the band. Which is to say, there were people there from every walk of life imaginable; women dressed in their Sunday best to grunged-out hippies. I guess when there is a banjo involved, there will always be some element of white trash. Throughout the show, some moron behind us had to make his presence known by yelling out comments every time there was a lull in the music. He detracted from the show, but it wasn’t enough to ruin things completely.

Tonight I have a game at 11:00 at UTC. I guess that means I’m due for a good four hour nap when I get home from work. My neck is much better today, hopefully it won’t be a hindrance tonight.

A new twist on volleyball.

If you wear glasses, you may want to swap them for contacts before going out.

Play with matches

I don’t know what the heck I did, but my neck is so sore and stiff I can barely stand it. The worst is trying to drive like this; makes changing lanes, merging, etc. very hard.

I bowled atrociously last night. Fortunately, my teammates were able to make up the difference and we ended up tying 2-2. I really need to buy my own ball, but first I need to figure out my technique.

Tonight, Michelle and I are joining Nik, his girlfriend Barbara, and a few other people to see Bela Fleck. Admittedly, I have no idea what to expect, as I haven’t heard his music before. I am still looking forward to going, however.

Optical Illusion?

I have no idea what this competition is about, but…

Make your own Bush Speech.